The way we treat our children

2026-01-31 - 23:46

I have spent almost twenty years as a family physician watching Pakistani children grow up. Or, in many cases, watching adults enthusiastically get in the way of that process. It begins at birth. A moment that should be calm and careful quickly turns into a festival. Prelacteal feeds are given with confidence. Newborns are kissed generously and passed from lap to lap, because, apparently, infection control is optional on day one. Tradition is celebrated, science is politely ignored, and then we wonder why the baby falls sick. As children grow, our approach becomes even more creative. We speak to them in deliberately broken language, as if clear speech is dangerous. Words are jumbled, pronunciations distorted, and grammar sacrificed in the name of cuteness. Years later, when language skills lag behind, we act surprised again. This seems to be a recurring theme. Then come the screens. Phones and tablets arrive early, long before patience, attention or emotional regulation have developed. Screens become pacifiers, babysitters and peace treaties. When children develop temper tantrums, poor attention spans and delayed communication, we blame the child rather than the glowing rectangle we handed them. What we consistently forget is that children are not just children. They are trainee adults. They understand far more than we give them credit for. Talking to them with logic, respect and proper language does not rob them of childhood. It equips them for adulthood. Today’s children belong to Generation Alpha and Generation Z. They have their own language, slang and worldview. Many adults complain that they are difficult to connect with. In reality, we never learned their language and now resent them for it. Academically, we keep children permanently busy. School is followed by religious education. Religious education is followed by tuition. Life becomes an endless cycle of exams, grades and pressure. And yet, despite all this effort, our education system has not delivered world class outcomes. What it has delivered quite efficiently is stress. Ironically, children and adolescents are now the biggest customers of the education industry. Learning is sold aggressively, while play, rest and curiosity are treated as distractions. Recreational spaces shrink. Sports disappear. Physical activity becomes optional. Screens, meanwhile, are always available. In clinics, the results are visible. Anxious children. Exhausted parents. Adolescents who feel overwhelmed but cannot explain why. The uncomfortable truth is this. We love our children deeply, but love without understanding can still cause harm. How we treat children today will decide what kind of adults we complain about tomorrow. —The writer is Associate Professor, Health Services Academy, Islamabad. (drahmedabdullah83@gmail.com)